Rolf's TV cash in

This story comes from the dark recesses of the 1973 Playhour annual -

I picked up this copy cheap from Doncaster market, and was mightily glad I did. The first comic strip stars none other than arty kangaroo botherer Mr Rolf Harris. Here he is in all his splendour -

That is not Rolf Harris. That is a pervert.

The story is entitled "Rolf's TV Tie", for reasons I have yet to fathom. We begin in, oh, a tie shop. Cool in the pool. Rolf Harris is out tie shopping with a koala bear. With me so far?

Look at the surprised shop assistant. I think I'd be surprised too.

So Rolf and the bear are out buying ties - but oh shit! Rolf only has enough money (dollars?) for one tie. That's ok because he only has one neck. Oh wait, there's something I missed on the first reading - the koala picks out a tie for Rolf but Rolf doesn't like it, so he makes up some bullshit excuse about money. The tie picked out by the koala has a 'chuffer' on it. I'm glad they explained this is a type of train. I can assure you that 'chuffer' means something quite different in Britain.

Anyway, when they get home, the koala decides to con some money out of Rolf, by selling Rolf the toys Rolf must have paid for in the first place. This reminds me of the time I tried to raffle off my Barbie camper van. My uncle Geoff won the raffle and tried to take the van home with him. Needless to say, he didn't win that fight.

"Come to my sale!" called the 'funny' bear. Rolf hands over his money. So essentially, Rolf is putting his own money into a fund to buy a tie he didn't even want and couldn't afford in the first place? I'm not sure I like this koala.

Not only is this koala a con artist, he's also bloody stupid. He can't see that Rolf doesn't want the hideous tie with 'chuffers' on it. Anyway, he manages to swindle enough money out of Rolf, and buys him the tie.

This is Rolf's reaction to the tie -

A picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, possibly all swear words.

Rolf avoids any embarrassment by using one of the oldest tricks in the book - "Oh it's fab, I'll save it for best" or something. By only wearing his tie for watching TV, there is no risk of anyone seeing him in it accidentally, since no one ever visits. Probably.

So to recap - Rolf spends money he hasn't got (twice) to buy himself a tie he hates, and that koala gets all his toys back anyway. The moral of this story? Rolf should have just told the truth in the first place. And never trust a koala.